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Anecdotes about the apartment – 24chasa.bg



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Man and woman in bed, unable to sleep – next heard a baby crying.

this:

– You still want to have children?

he:

– Yes, you have to sort of revenge!

***

– Honey, is now live in an expensive apartment, the way you want!

– Oh, dear, how happy! You buy an apartment?

– No, they got the rent.

***

Get two climbers of Mount Everest and say:

– Would you buy the apartment where you have suggested?

– I do not pitch & # 39; yat, on the third floor without a lift!

***

– From your apartment you heard last night, shouting "Robbery!"

– Yes.

– What happened?

– My wife came home in advance.

***

Man goes to the Bureau of Labor and says:

– I would like to find a high-paying job with no special training!

Officer:

– Great! There is something for you. Millionaire is looking to hire a driver for his 20-year-old daughter, and she was a nymphomaniac. Terms flat and free meals. You will travel with her everywhere and the starting salary is 1,500 Levs.

– Come on, come on, man! You're kidding!

– Yeah, but you started it!

***

He was going to get into the Guinness Book of Records "," because most extensive repairs in the apartment, but in the & # 39; 12 a neighbor shot him.

***

On the question of radio "Yerevan":

– What is the worst thing for a person in the "Big Brother"?

The second radio responds:

– Being imprisoned in an apartment with six women for three months, and you can not lie, you slept with them.

***

Young family & # 39; I invited guest in a studio apartment. It's time to sleep, but there was only one bed. There was nothing to do and put the guest to sleep with them. The next morning, a man and a guest talk:

– Well, how did you sleep?

– Well, just the fact that many of them have a strange woman. All night I hold this thing.

– No, brother, it was not my wife, I was holding. Trust, but cleared.

***

On the & # 39; reality: "I give for rent for 5-7 years. Depending on the court's decision. "

***

There are two friends:

– My daughter met a young man.

– Really? Do you like it?

– Well, a young, confident, cute.

– It's not about that.

– There's apartment, a good car, a good salary.

– Oh, yes! Very nice!

***

the fire started in the apartment. The woman and the man ran into the street and wait for the fire department.

– It's not bad, – she said. – For the first time in the last ten years, to go along.

***

– What a lovely apartment figurehead?

– When in a corner of the living room sits unnoticed aquarium in which swimming hippo.

***

Enter into a new apartment. And I think: "I wonder if the good sound?"

– Very! – I replied my neighbor behind the wall.

***

The man down the stairs. The second floor holds the neighbor cat in his hands and shouting in his ear:

– Lucy from I-56 and flat, like Lucy and 56 apartments!

persons:

– Komshu, why you call into the ear of the cat?

neighbors:

– So, I can not, but the whole night under the window you ?!

***

Even a champion can not speak speed to complete the sentence: "I want to sell my apartment in the city center at a price of 500 euros per square meter," before he got the first offer.

***

– Hey, what are you doing in my apartment in my wardrobe?

– I'm waiting for the airplane.

– Well, what aircraft?

– The aircraft, which today & # 39; leaving on a business trip.

***

– Mom, go home, buy something?

– Buy an apartment and live alone!

***

Woman thoroughly clean apartment a few & # 39; and on Sunday morning, and the man stuck in her white shorts.

– Ivan, put it after a while we went to visit a neighbor

– No! – said her husband.

– Abe put on that will we are not ashamed!

– No!

– Well, slob, stop embarrassing us! Why do not you dressed?

– as the guests arrive, to see how weak I am and understand that I do not eat!

– old..Pff, then take off her pants and know why they are eating!

***

Furniture is so bad that every time you lead someone to guests who are yelling, "Oh, God, robbed me."

***

Mother from the village went to visit his son in Sofia, who lives in the "Mladost". He entered the said unit and mother:

– I think I am not mistaken! Which apartment you rented? Small and with no windows! Look at how they had been deceived!

– Wait, was my mother. We're in the elevator.

***

There are two other, and one asks:

– Well, Jaures, your wife Taco knows her in the yard?

– No, we live in an apartment.

***

– Hello! Apartment 101, Block 603, "Mladost 1"?

– Yes!

– The money you have in the closet in the bedroom, you will you need?

– Yes!

– Then order from our company's front door!

***

Between friends.

– I'm married.

– Eee, bravo!

– It is well done, very ugly woman.

– Eee, unfortunately!

– Do not e Unfortunately, there is an apartment!

– Eee, bravo!

– It is well done. He burned.

– Eee, unfortunately!

– Do not e Unfortunately, it was not inside!

***

Full recovery. The young man went up, but after touching a woman's breast with his elbow:

– I'm sorry! – he said. – But if your heart is as soft as the breast, then you have no equal!

– Thank you! And if your thing is so difficult as the elbow, I live in an apartment 31!

***

News from India: "Bulgarian tourists called his wife a cow and release them settled in the presidential suite."

***

Her husband came home from work, take off your shoes and what to see – the whole apartment is shining clean – not a grain of sand or dust, wash, wash dishes, cooked for dinner.

– Honey, it's a miracle!

– Yes … the Internet has ceased!

***

A man enters the restaurant. The waiter approaches him and asks him.

– What do you want?

persons:

– Well, I want a car, nice house …

The waiter interrupted him with questions:

– What do you want?

persons:

– Well, my dear woman, a lot of money …

The waiter again interrupted him with a question:

– What do you want to eat?

persons:

– Well, what do you have?

waiter:

– Well, the car, a good woman, apartment.

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