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Anecdotes about the apartment –


Man and woman in bed, unable to sleep – next heard a baby crying.


– You still want to have children?


– Yes, you have to sort of revenge!


– Honey, is now live in an expensive apartment, the way you want!

– Oh, dear, how happy! You buy an apartment?

– No, they got the rent.


Get two climbers of Mount Everest and say:

– Would you buy the apartment where you have suggested?

– I do not pitch & # 39; yat, on the third floor without a lift!


– From your apartment you heard last night, shouting "Robbery!"

– Yes.

– What happened?

– My wife came home in advance.


Man goes to the Bureau of Labor and says:

– I would like to find a high-paying job with no special training!


– Great! There is something for you. Millionaire is looking to hire a driver for his 20-year-old daughter, and she was a nymphomaniac. Terms flat and free meals. You will travel with her everywhere and the starting salary is 1,500 Levs.

– Come on, come on, man! You're kidding!

– Yeah, but you started it!


He was going to get into the Guinness Book of Records "," because most extensive repairs in the apartment, but in the & # 39; 12 a neighbor shot him.


On the question of radio "Yerevan":

– What is the worst thing for a person in the "Big Brother"?

The second radio responds:

– Being imprisoned in an apartment with six women for three months, and you can not lie, you slept with them.


Young family & # 39; I invited guest in a studio apartment. It's time to sleep, but there was only one bed. There was nothing to do and put the guest to sleep with them. The next morning, a man and a guest talk:

– Well, how did you sleep?

– Well, just the fact that many of them have a strange woman. All night I hold this thing.

– No, brother, it was not my wife, I was holding. Trust, but cleared.


On the & # 39; reality: "I give for rent for 5-7 years. Depending on the court's decision. "


There are two friends:

– My daughter met a young man.

– Really? Do you like it?

– Well, a young, confident, cute.

– It's not about that.

– There's apartment, a good car, a good salary.

– Oh, yes! Very nice!


the fire started in the apartment. The woman and the man ran into the street and wait for the fire department.

– It's not bad, – she said. – For the first time in the last ten years, to go along.


– What a lovely apartment figurehead?

– When in a corner of the living room sits unnoticed aquarium in which swimming hippo.


Enter into a new apartment. And I think: "I wonder if the good sound?"

– Very! – I replied my neighbor behind the wall.


The man down the stairs. The second floor holds the neighbor cat in his hands and shouting in his ear:

– Lucy from I-56 and flat, like Lucy and 56 apartments!


– Komshu, why you call into the ear of the cat?


– So, I can not, but the whole night under the window you ?!


Even a champion can not speak speed to complete the sentence: "I want to sell my apartment in the city center at a price of 500 euros per square meter," before he got the first offer.


– Hey, what are you doing in my apartment in my wardrobe?

– I'm waiting for the airplane.

– Well, what aircraft?

– The aircraft, which today & # 39; leaving on a business trip.


– Mom, go home, buy something?

– Buy an apartment and live alone!


Woman thoroughly clean apartment a few & # 39; and on Sunday morning, and the man stuck in her white shorts.

– Ivan, put it after a while we went to visit a neighbor

– No! – said her husband.

– Abe put on that will we are not ashamed!

– No!

– Well, slob, stop embarrassing us! Why do not you dressed?

– as the guests arrive, to see how weak I am and understand that I do not eat!

– old..Pff, then take off her pants and know why they are eating!


Furniture is so bad that every time you lead someone to guests who are yelling, "Oh, God, robbed me."


Mother from the village went to visit his son in Sofia, who lives in the "Mladost". He entered the said unit and mother:

– I think I am not mistaken! Which apartment you rented? Small and with no windows! Look at how they had been deceived!

– Wait, was my mother. We're in the elevator.


There are two other, and one asks:

– Well, Jaures, your wife Taco knows her in the yard?

– No, we live in an apartment.


– Hello! Apartment 101, Block 603, "Mladost 1"?

– Yes!

– The money you have in the closet in the bedroom, you will you need?

– Yes!

– Then order from our company's front door!


Between friends.

– I'm married.

– Eee, bravo!

– It is well done, very ugly woman.

– Eee, unfortunately!

– Do not e Unfortunately, there is an apartment!

– Eee, bravo!

– It is well done. He burned.

– Eee, unfortunately!

– Do not e Unfortunately, it was not inside!


Full recovery. The young man went up, but after touching a woman's breast with his elbow:

– I'm sorry! – he said. – But if your heart is as soft as the breast, then you have no equal!

– Thank you! And if your thing is so difficult as the elbow, I live in an apartment 31!


News from India: "Bulgarian tourists called his wife a cow and release them settled in the presidential suite."


Her husband came home from work, take off your shoes and what to see – the whole apartment is shining clean – not a grain of sand or dust, wash, wash dishes, cooked for dinner.

– Honey, it's a miracle!

– Yes … the Internet has ceased!


A man enters the restaurant. The waiter approaches him and asks him.

– What do you want?


– Well, I want a car, nice house …

The waiter interrupted him with questions:

– What do you want?


– Well, my dear woman, a lot of money …

The waiter again interrupted him with a question:

– What do you want to eat?


– Well, what do you have?


– Well, the car, a good woman, apartment.

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