Monday , April 12 2021

Amanda Bynes opens up about her death

"I am ashamed and uncomfortable with the things that I said," said in an interview with & # 39; w Paper magazine Bynes. "I can not turn back time, but if I could, I would. And I'm sorry to those who hurt me, and who I lied to, because it really is a & # 39; eats me. It makes me feel so bad and vomited. sad and all that I have worked all their lives to achieve, I would destroy all this via Twitter it is certainly not the fault on Twitter. – it's my fault. "

The former child star who rose to fame in the '90s on shows like Nickelodeon's "All That" and "Amanda Show," she said, sober for four years, and is currently enrolled at the Fashion Institute of Design and Merchandising.

In 2014, Bynes was sentenced to three years on probation in a plea deal that matches the n & # 39; control Yanagi charge. Under the deal, she also had to attend the alcohol education course and to pay a fine.

She continued to make the headlines in the same year for a series of shocking tweets that included false accusations of abuse by her father.

"Everyone is different, of course, but for me, a mixture of marijuana and any other drug, and sometimes drink really spoiled my brain," explained Bynes. "It really made me a different person. I actually I have a good man. I would never feel, say or do any of the things I did and said to the people I hurt on Twitter. »

Related: bipolar diagnosis Amanda Bynes is cloudy

She said that the combination of the use of marijuana and a shift in its schedule contributed to its spiral.

"I had no purpose in life. I have worked all my life and [now] I did nothing, "Bynes continued." I had a lot of time on my hands, and I would "wake and bake" and literally stoned all day … [I] just stayed at home, buzz, watching TV and tweeting … I never heroin or meth or something like that, but some of the things that you think are harmless, they may actually affect you in a harmful way " .

Around the same time, after a psychological evaluation and hospitalization, Bynes tweeted – and later removed – that she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. In an interview with & # 39; nd paper, she said that she does not have a mental illness.

"It is definitely not fun when people are diagnosed you with what they think you are," said Bynes. "It's always been very bothersome to me. If you deny something and tell them that it is in fact, they do not believe you. In fact, for me, [my behavior] It was medication, and every time I left the [drugs]I would always go back to a normal life. I know that my behavior was so strange that people are just trying to grasp at straws for something that was not right. "

Bynes says she hopes to release a clothing line and eventually get back into action. She also hopes that her experience will serve as a warning to others.

"Be very, very careful because you can lose it all and destroy the rest of your life, as I do," she said.

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